Evil Genius helpdesk humour
"We care a lot"
What if riding an elevator was as hard as using a computer?

Operator: "Lift Technology helpdesk, Eric speaking."

Customer: "I'm in an elevator. What do I do?"

Operator: "Do you have a particular floor in mind, or do you just want to ride up and down?"

Customer: "I want a floor."

Operator: "Which floor do you need?"

Customer: "I don't know. Which floor is Education Resources Ltd on?"

Operator: "I'm not familiar with the building you're in, but there should be a directory on the wall in the lobby. If you press the 'open' button, you should be able to see it."

Customer: "I pressed it, but there's no directory."

Operator: "What do you see?"

Customer: "It's like... a hallway."

Operator: "Are you on the ground floor?"

Customer: "How can I tell?"

Operator: "Before calling me, did you press any of the floor buttons in the elevator?"

Customer: "I pressed some buttons, but I don't know if they were floor buttons. I thought that might help."

Operator: "Okay, you'll just need to press the ground button now --"

Customer: "I can't, the door closed behind me. How do I get back into the elevator?"

Operator: "Press the 'elevator call' button."

Customer: "I told you, I can't get to the buttons. The door closed."

Operator: "There should be an elevator call button between the two elevator doors."

Customer: "Oh, there it is... I pressed it. Now what?"

Operator: "It should take just a few seconds for the elevator to arrive."

Customer: "The door opened!"

Operator: "Okay, now walk in."

Customer: "Now what?"

Operator: "Now you'll need to press the ground button."

Customer: "I pressed it... the elevator started to move."

Operator: "Soon you'll arrive at the lobby. The directory will show you what floor the company you want is on --"

Customer: "Wait a second, slow down. Okay, the door opened. What do I do now?"

Operator: "Do you see the directory?"

Customer: "What does it look like?"

Operator: "It'll be a list of companies with floor numbers beside them."

Customer: "Ed-yu-cay-shun Ree-sor-ses le-vul, uh, five. Now what?"

Operator: "You'll just need to get back in the elevator like we did earlier and press the button with the number five on it. Okay?"

Customer: "Okay."

Operator: "Thanks for calling the Lift Technology helpdesk."

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