Evil Genius helpdesk humour
"We care a lot"

 
Frequently Questioned Motives
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  • Why create this site?

    Normally my job goes pretty smoothly. People have a problem, they call me, I do all the right things to make it go away, they hang up. End of story. But sometimes I get a difficult customer -- someone who's angry and wants to take it out on me, or too inexperienced to effectively be my hands at their end, or wants too much or knows too little or thinks they're special and normal rules don't apply -- the list goes on.

    Because I'm trying to do my job with some professionalism, I can't do anything about it except in extreme cases -- hanging up on an abusive caller, suggesting that a customer take classes so they can tell the difference between their PC and a toaster oven, bluntly refusing to support a package which isn't one of our products and doesn't make use of our services.

    But still, I feel I'm owed a little bit of payback. So I change the names to protect the inane and write up these stories for my website. I get a little bit of harmless revenge and retain enough sanity to go on with my work.

  • What right do you have to make fun of the people who pay your wages?

    I think I have as much right as anyone else to bitch about the aspects of my job that cause me stress.

  • Are the stories really true?

    Yes. Every story on this site happened. The calls were all taken by me or co-workers. The only changes I make are the names of the callers, and editing the stories for length -- eg. you won't read about the five minutes of clicking it took to bring up email settings, etc.

  • Is the email genuine?

    Yes. The email was all received at the company tech support email address. I generally edit email a little more thoroughly, so the sender won't recognise their own work if they happen to come across my site. This means that if I see a support message whose classic qualities would be ruined by altering the text, I have to regretfully set it aside.

  • Can I see some of the email you can't post on the site?

    Sorry, no. My purpose here isn't to humiliate customers by identifying them. It could also get embarrassing for my company if something like that could be tracked back to its source.

  • What does 'RIP' stand for?

    Really big Internet service Provider. More customers per IQ point than any other in the region! Actually, since this site first appeared I've worked for a handful of different ISPs and telcos, so RIP is a conglomeration of all of those.

  • If you hate your job, why do you do it?

    I don't hate my job. If every call I took or message I answered was like the ones I've written about here, I would have quit a long time ago. You're reading about the 5% that give me hives instead of the 95% that don't.

  • Can I submit a story for your site?

    Yes! All contributions gratefully accepted. I may or may not use it on the site, but if I do I'll attribute it to the alias you provide. (For the reasons I've stated above, I won't use your real name.)

    You can send your story to

  • Can you help me with -- ?

    No.

  • You've got an attitude.

    I can see there's no fooling you, Sherlock Holmes.
     

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